January is moving quickly and we are entering our third week of 2023. Some people want to ensure they are keeping up with their goals and resolutions. A great way to keep up with your expectations is to write down your goals. Planning out your day and content is a must especially if you post or manage content for multiple brands.
I enjoy planning and have both a digital planner and paper. Planning gives me a space to keep all my ideas organized and appointments in one place. There are many choices for both digital and paper planners. I like planners that are easy to navigate and for digital I like if I can add in my own pages. Sometimes I want to plan out specific posts or content and have my own design process.
To help achieve big goals breaking them down into smaller, achievable steps is helpful. Setting daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals is a great way to stay motivated and focused on what you want to achieve in the big picture. Make sure to set realistic deadlines, and be sure to develop a plan for how you’ll reach those goals.
Most importantly celebrate your successes and learn from your mistakes along the way. It is important to also, be kind to yourself and remember that it is okay to adjust your goals or take a break if needed. Wishing you all the best…you’ve got this!
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Comparison can be a dangerous habit to fall into. When we compare ourselves to others, we can often feel inadequate or discouraged, as it can be difficult to measure up to the standards of others. This is not to be confused with being inspired by others which can help one gain insight into our own paths and develop positive strategies. For example, motivation to achieving our goals by looking at a role model’s successes.
One should always challenge what we think we see and to use critical thinking to evaluate the validity of the information. We should always be mindful of our sources and to look for evidence to back up any facts we hear. It’s important to be mindful of potential biases and to think about how our own beliefs may affect how we interpret the reality of a situation. In a world of filters, edits and augmented reality things may not always be as they seem.
The key is to focus on our own progress and celebrate our own successes, rather than ever using comparison as a measure of our worth. Comparing yourself to others can be a difficult habit to break. It is important to remember that your self-worth should not be determined by how you measure up to someone else. There are many ways to help you to avoid comparison.
One of the best ways to avoid comparison is to focus on self-improvement. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on improving yourself and reaching your own goals. Set reasonable and achievable goals for yourself, and make sure to celebrate your successes.
Another way to avoid comparison is to remind yourself that everyone’s situation is unique, and that there is no, “one size fits all” approach to life. Try to accept and appreciate yourself for your unique traits and qualities. Focus on being the best version of yourself instead of desiring to be someone else. Lastly, practice gratitude and savor the moments. This can help to create a more positive outlook on life and help to prevent comparison.
In conclusion by focusing on your own unique qualities, strengths, accomplishments and in celebrating things that make you special you will appreciate the progress you are making towards your own goals. Comparison can rob you of your joy and it isn’t worth it to fall into the comparison trap. Remember, you are enough and your worth is not determined by anyone else’s standards.
We live in a world focused on the next big thing. Retail puts out beach chairs at Easter, fall decor before summer ends and Christmas with the Halloween candy. Influencers on social media publish holiday gift guides in August and everyone seems to have Christmas trees up in perfectly decorated homes. We are bombarded and sometimes overwhelmed by what is coming and often pushed to feel we must keep up.
If you’re a fan of a certain holiday or season I can understand the push to get there quick. I don’t fault people for doing what makes them happy. I wonder though with so many people seemingly focusing on the next big thing how many are enjoying the moments they are in. If you feel that overthinking a situation or spending more time focusing on upcoming things besides the present moment is causing your stress, practicing mindfulness can be beneficial to making a positive thought change.
Being mindful of the present can direct our thoughts and focus away from stressors. This isn’t to be confused with making future plans/goals. These types of future thinking and planning shouldn’t be stressful, but should help facilitate growth and positive change. You don’t want to eliminate them. Dwelling on what is to come or what needs to be done however can cause stress. Take time to listen to yourself and understand your own thoughts.
It can be difficult sometimes with all of life’s distractions to keep one’s attention in the present moment. Mindfulness isn’t easily maintained and can require lots of practice to get one’s focus back on the present. Some individuals find that by focusing on the senses of sound, feelings in the moment or other real time sensations they are able to better focus on the present. There are many teachings/therapy models that involve mindfulness practices.
I have found that by allowing myself some quiet time alone with my thoughts or to meditate helps me better focus on the present. Studies have shown that people who are able to practice mindfulness are better at managing their depression and anxiety. It is worth the effort to strive to be more mindful and aware of the present. Positive thinking is a gift and it can transform your life. Remember one day at a time. You’re doing great!
Have you ever felt the pressure to define yourself in a certain way on social media, your online presence or in life? What if I told you that maybe trying to fit in isn’t what is going to make you stand out from the others. Wouldn’t you like to gain followers that will actually matter and stick with you for the long haul or attract people based on who you are as a person and not a trend or fad? The things that make you unique are what will attract this tribe and followers. You can create your own niche despite what others may tell you.
I’ve been told my whole brand ambassador career what I needed to do to get gigs. Things like be a certain size, look a certain way, cover up the Southern roots or wear heels to distract from being short, people have said. I’m polite and I’ve always been respectful of people speaking to me. I convince myself when people give advice they mean well.
Don’t believe the highlight reel
My rule though is if a person advising me isn’t where I’d like to be I’m certainly not going to look to them as a mentor or follow their path. Don’t believe everything you read and see on social media; it is only a highlight reel (for some people). Everyone is different and some don’t want to share their negatives even if flaws are what makes us unique and human.
My goal isn’t to have a highlight reel. To me life is about community over competition. I want to see other people succeed and I’ll clap for you. When someone looks at a photo of me @thevirginiahypegirl I don’t want them to be trying to figure out what preset I’m using or program, what fancy camera I have or how much I paid for the look. I want someone to see a woman just like them, that has worked hard to get where she is and proof that they can over come too. I share my life to inspire and encourage others.
I am beautifully broken not photoshopped perfect. I’m not afraid to talk about being a victor of domestic violence or overcoming assault or to show you my vulnerability. I’ve posted on depression, hitting rock bottom, dealing with loss and having major health set backs. All in hopes that maybe by sharing my highs along with my lows someone will take comfort that life isn’t perfect and neither am I.
If you don’t have this kind of confidence in yourself or know yet what you bring to the table it’s ok. Please don’t ever loose who you are in trying to find yourself, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone else and their journey. Don’t let other people trick you into chasing dreams that aren’t even yours. If something you are creating or doing feels forced then maybe you should rethink it.
Be cautious of who you trust
In your quest to build your tribe (followers) be caution too of women who proclaim to support other women. These women do exist, but often jealousy and the green eyed monster rears its ugly head, especially in groups of women. I’ve seen more women use this line and still tear other women apart at the same time. Be cautious of who you trust. A woman that picks at another women will likely do the same about you behind your back.
It is ok to be different. Remember that sometimes two people can have the same recipe, but have completely different tasting dishes. You don’t have to fight anyone for your piece of the pie…it is already yours. If I have to be fake or someone I am not I don’t want that kind of success and you shouldn’t either. If it isn’t exciting to you it can come across as forced and it won’t be interesting to your audience either.
I am proud of being me and I want to encourage others to stand out instead of fitting in. Maybe someone is out there silently reading this and I can only hope because of something they read by me they too decide to not give up. Fight for yourself and for what you believe in. Figure out what you want to share with others and don’t hold back. In doing this you will attract people that will share your passion and build a real community.
I think back on times when someone told me I wouldn’t accomplish something or when (fake) friends were not in my corner for support. These people and the experiences actually gave me more encouragement to succeed. They made me determined to prove them wrong and propelled me forward. When people aren’t for you don’t allow them to speak negative into existence, but work harder to prove them wrong. Every time things seemed overwhelming or like I couldn’t do it I thought of the naysayers and their negativity, but not in a way that I let it bring me down.
No matter what you feel like your are up against or how strong you think your enemies are I’m here to tell you I’m proof we all can do anything we put our mind to. If I would have allowed a teacher telling me I wasn’t college material, being assaulted, an abusive relationship or health issues to hold me back I would have been settling and depriving myself.
I feel as if I need to go find these people and buy them lunch because I wouldn’t be the success I am without them trying to discourage me or hold me back. I believe they were put in my path for a purpose. If I wouldn’t have encountered the naysayers over the years or had to climb the mountains maybe I would have settled and wouldn’t have accomplished my dreams.
How you choose to approach the adversity in your life is important. I’m a victor and not a victim; this is my mindset. It is my experience that everything and everyone can be against me, but God is always for me and he loves me. As promised in Psalms 23:5, God has blessed me in front of my enemies and he can do the same thing for you. Don’t allow the negative things in your life to hold you back, but instead use them to propel you forward.
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