Tag: authenticity

Empowerment Blogging

Creating Your Niche

thevirginiahypegirl
Create your niche
Create your niche without loosing who you are.

Have you ever felt the pressure to define yourself in a certain way on social media, your online presence or in life? What if I told you that maybe trying to fit in isn’t what is going to make you stand out from the others. Wouldn’t you like to gain followers that will actually matter and stick with you for the long haul or attract people based on who you are as a person and not a trend or fad? The things that make you unique are what will attract this tribe and followers. You can create your own niche despite what others may tell you.

I’ve been told my whole brand ambassador career what I needed to do to get gigs. Things like be a certain size, look a certain way, cover up the Southern roots or wear heels to distract from being short, people have said. I’m polite and I’ve always been respectful of people speaking to me. I convince myself when people give advice they mean well.

Don’t believe the highlight reel

My rule though is if a person advising me isn’t where I’d like to be I’m certainly not going to look to them as a mentor or follow their path. Don’t believe everything you read and see on social media; it is only a highlight reel (for some people). Everyone is different and some don’t want to share their negatives even if flaws are what makes us unique and human.

My goal isn’t to have a highlight reel. To me life is about community over competition. I want to see other people succeed and I’ll clap for you. When someone looks at a photo of me @thevirginiahypegirl I don’t want them to be trying to figure out what preset I’m using or program, what fancy camera I have or how much I paid for the look. I want someone to see a woman just like them, that has worked hard to get where she is and proof that they can over come too. I share my life to inspire and encourage others.

I am beautifully broken not photoshopped perfect. I’m not afraid to talk about being a victor of domestic violence or overcoming assault or to show you my vulnerability. I’ve posted on depression, hitting rock bottom, dealing with loss and having major health set backs. All in hopes that maybe by sharing my highs along with my lows someone will take comfort that life isn’t perfect and neither am I.

If you don’t have this kind of confidence in yourself or know yet what you bring to the table it’s ok. Please don’t ever loose who you are in trying to find yourself, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone else and their journey. Don’t let other people trick you into chasing dreams that aren’t even yours. If something you are creating or doing feels forced then maybe you should rethink it.

Be cautious of who you trust

In your quest to build your tribe (followers) be caution too of women who proclaim to support other women. These women do exist, but often jealousy and the green eyed monster rears its ugly head, especially in groups of women. I’ve seen more women use this line and still tear other women apart at the same time. Be cautious of who you trust. A woman that picks at another women will likely do the same about you behind your back.

It is ok to be different. Remember that sometimes two people can have the same recipe, but have completely different tasting dishes. You don’t have to fight anyone for your piece of the pie…it is already yours. If I have to be fake or someone I am not I don’t want that kind of success and you shouldn’t either. If it isn’t exciting to you it can come across as forced and it won’t be interesting to your audience either.

I am proud of being me and I want to encourage others to stand out instead of fitting in. Maybe someone is out there silently reading this and I can only hope because of something they read by me they too decide to not give up. Fight for yourself and for what you believe in. Figure out what you want to share with others and don’t hold back. In doing this you will attract people that will share your passion and build a real community.

Empowerment Blogging

Life Won’t Sparkle Unless You Do

thevirginiahypegirl

ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖𝕤 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕝𝕖𝕤?! I remember going to an event once and hearing a couple of the BAs I was managing laughing at something. Turns out they were making fun of my sparkly shoes, sparkly water bottle and bright printed backpack. “She looks like a rainbow…who does she think she is”, was said, like rainbows are a bad thing. In turn I’d done nothing to them except introduce myself and give event instructions.

We’ve all experienced it and I think it takes a lot of courage in today’s world to embrace being different. Most people want to fit into a certain category or a label that’s popular and few want to be someone that stands out. It is unfortunate that as a society things out of the norm are labeled as bad or, “abnormal”. Our society puts a negative label on things people aren’t use to or can’t understand. These labels dont really mean those things are actually wrong. I like to sparkle! Im different and I want to put the sparkle in life.

If society would move more towards acceptance and embracing the unique and different, imagine what a wonderful place the world could be. If society was open maybe people would stop hiding who they truly are. Being different unfortunately though can cause a person to be ridiculed or made fun of. This is unfortunate and it’s hard to learn, but self esteem and self worth should not be linked to acceptance by society.

Being different might cost friendships. However, you will find your tribe and be better off with people that can accept and support the real you. We must each do our part to promote inclusion of differences and to share who we really are. If you see something happening that you don’t agree with stand up. It is likely others want to make a stand too, but may need a leader to follow. Be a leader and don’t be afraid to stand out.

Empowerment Blogging

You’re Free to Be Different

thevirginiahypegirl

ƳƠƲ’ƦЄ ƑƦЄЄ ƬƠ ƁЄ ƊƖƑƑЄƦЄƝƬ! If everyone was the same and liked the same things how boring would life be?! No matter what society tells you to do to fit in be rebellious and choose to be different. Don’t be afraid to live your own fairytale; no one else should get to write your story, but you.

The older I get I’ve learned many people are good at trying to force others to fit into a certain way of life. I color outside the lines though and I can guarantee I don’t want the same things as you. That’s what makes us unique and what makes me stand apart from you.

Being different unfortunately can cause a person to be ridiculed or made fun of. It’s hard to learn, but self esteem and self worth should not be linked to acceptance by society. Being different might cost friends too. However, you will find your tribe and be better off with people that can accept and support the real you.

I think it takes a lot of courage in today’s world to embrace being different. Most people want to fit into a certain category or a label that’s popular and few want to be someone that stands out. It is unfortunate that as a society things out of the norm are labeled as bad or,“abnormal”.

Our society puts a negative label on things they aren’t used to or can’t understand. These labels dont really mean those things are actually wrong. If society would move more towards acceptance and embracing the unique and different, imagine what a wonderful place the world could be. So many people would stop hiding who they truly are.

We must each do our part to promote inclusion of differences and to share who we really are. If you see something happening that you don’t agree with stand up. It is likely others want to make a stand too, but may need a leader to follow. Be a leader!

Empowerment Blogging

Page 1 of 365-Curbing Imposter Syndrome

thevirginiahypegirl
do it for yourself
Don’t be silent about your feelings, remember you and your thoughts are valid and important!

Welcome to the new year! A fresh page, number 1 of the 365 that will make up 2022. Many people have been posting their new year’s resolutions and some will have broken them within a day of posting them. I personally stopped making resolutions years ago and instead focus on the goals I wanted to achieve in the coming year and reassessing my long term goals.

Since I can remember imposer syndrome has given me a fear of failure and made me think I needed to be superwoman to be defined as successful. If you do not know what imposter syndrome is, basically it’s an internal battle of not believing one is as competent as other people perceive.

What is imposter syndrome?

My own thoughts will make me believe I am not worthy of the compliments or praise I get from interactions with others or my job. Imposter Syndrome has made me disregard or dissect most praise I received in life. It gives me guilt about being seen as successful. To combat these feeling I had to write a new script for my mind’s responses and separate my internal feelings from fact. It took me a long time of learning to practice self-love and self-acceptance to not have these feelings daily.

Finding a Way to Cope with Imposter Syndrome

Some people see hanging up diplomas or having a trophy case for example as pretentious, but seeing my accomplishments daily verifies my success in what I choose to accomplish. Visual reminders of my personal success help me to chase away the feelings of not being good enough/imposter syndrome. Everyone has to find out what works for them personally to help them feel comfortable in their own skin.

Please do not allow yourself or other people to make you feel like you don’t matter. Do not be silent about your feelings, remember you and your thoughts are valid and important. Imposter Syndrome like anything can be overcome. Do not ever feel like you’re alone in your journey! There are many free resources that are only an internet search away my friends.

In this new year invest in yourself and do things that make you feel good about yourself. Take away: We all are dealing with something in our lives no matter how perfect things look from the outside. Imposter Syndrome is real, but it doesn’t mean I couldn’t find ways to work through it. I’m not too proud to pretend my life is perfect. Thoughts are not facts and this year I will strive to give myself more grace and kindness .

Empowerment Blogging

Would You Meet Them For Coffee- Social Media and Disconnection

thevirginiahypegirl

We now have the option for our phones and apps to tell us how much time we have spent on certain tasks and on social media. When you look at how you’ve spent the day, weeks or months are these hours reflecting the life you want to live? As a blogger I depend on the internet to get my content out. I know there are many positives to social media. The internet and social media for example is a necessity for many small and big business alike. It can channel traffic and help create sales that otherwise may not be possible. It helps many stay in touch over the miles and to reconnect with people from our pasts or allow us to connect with people across the globe we otherwise wouldn’t have met.

The Dark-side of Social Media

Many aspects of using the internet can be convenient, but I ask myself what will the effects be on socializing long term.

There is a dark side to social media use, the addictions that can develop over the use of it and the effects from it. Recent light has been brought on protecting children’s safety online and the negative effects of social media on young people. Instagram’s head Adam Mosser himself was made to testified on the Hill to the Senate earlier this month. Whistleblower led information has developed about Meta’s (Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp) own internal research and the algorithm promoting negative body image in young users.

Many seem to make a push to do everything online and avoid face to face interactions. Social media and our use of the internet in some ways has helped to fuel disconnection. Many aspects of using the internet can be convenient, but I ask myself what will the effects be on socializing long term. A simple Google search will give links to different articles looking at the reduction of social skills in relation to use of technology and the internet, especially in younger people.

Call Me Old Fashioned

What happen to the days of handwritten thank you notes, sealing a deal with a handshake and people meeting for coffee??

I’m not that old and I find myself asking what happened to handwritten thank you notes, sealing a deal with a handshake and people meeting for coffee? Call me old fashioned, but I honestly don’t like the road we as a society seem to be on. So many people seem discontent with their lives and suicide is at a record high. I’ve personally had two people in my family unexpectedly commit suicide this year. These losses really made me start thinking more about where I put my own time and thoughts.

I think many get on social media trying to make a connection, but in the end feel more disconnected, empty and alone. Social media is full of photoshopped perfect pictures, highlight reels of everyone’s lives and accounts full of purchased followers, likes and comments. Social media and sharing can be fun, but it can also, be stressful. With changed in the algorithm it can be especially frustrating for example to a blogger or creator that feels like they are spinning their own wheels when their content isn’t getting shown.

Looking at your friend’s list on social media, how many people would you actually go out for a cup of coffee with? People we see might have the famed 10k following, but be as shallow as a muddy puddle in real life with no real life friends. The next time you’re down on yourself due to comparing yourself to the people on your social media feed maybe consider asking yourself this thought provoking question. There is so much good that can be done with time like volunteering or connecting to real people in our own family and communities. I’m not going to be idle and let the opinion of those that I wouldn’t want to take to coffee in real life get me down or fall into the comparison trap and I hope you won’t either.

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