Empowerment Blogging

Comparison is a lie

Comparison can be a dangerous habit to fall into. It is important to remember that your self-worth should not be determined by how you measure up to someone else.

Comparison can be a dangerous habit to fall into. When we compare ourselves to others, we can often feel inadequate or discouraged, as it can be difficult to measure up to the standards of others. This is not to be confused with being inspired by others which can help one gain insight into our own paths and develop positive strategies. For example, motivation to achieving our goals by looking at a role model’s successes.

One should always challenge what we think we see and to use critical thinking to evaluate the validity of the information. We should always be mindful of our sources and to look for evidence to back up any facts we hear. It’s important to be mindful of potential biases and to think about how our own beliefs may affect how we interpret the reality of a situation. In a world of filters, edits and augmented reality things may not always be as they seem.

The key is to focus on our own progress and celebrate our own successes, rather than ever using comparison as a measure of our worth. Comparing yourself to others can be a difficult habit to break. It is important to remember that your self-worth should not be determined by how you measure up to someone else. There are many ways to help you to avoid comparison.

One of the best ways to avoid comparison is to focus on self-improvement. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on improving yourself and reaching your own goals. Set reasonable and achievable goals for yourself, and make sure to celebrate your successes.

Another way to avoid comparison is to remind yourself that everyone’s situation is unique, and that there is no, “one size fits all” approach to life. Try to accept and appreciate yourself for your unique traits and qualities. Focus on being the best version of yourself instead of desiring to be someone else. Lastly, practice gratitude and savor the moments. This can help to create a more positive outlook on life and help to prevent comparison.

In conclusion by focusing on your own unique qualities, strengths, accomplishments and in celebrating things that make you special you will appreciate the progress you are making towards your own goals. Comparison can rob you of your joy and it isn’t worth it to fall into the comparison trap. Remember, you are enough and your worth is not determined by anyone else’s standards.

Empowerment Blogging

Enjoy the Moment

Enjoy the moment. Don’t waste your energy on things you cannot control.

We live in a world focused on the next big thing. Retail puts out beach chairs at Easter, fall decor before summer ends and Christmas with the Halloween candy. Influencers on social media publish holiday gift guides in August and everyone seems to have Christmas trees up in perfectly decorated homes. We are bombarded and sometimes overwhelmed by what is coming and often pushed to feel we must keep up.

If you’re a fan of a certain holiday or season I can understand the push to get there quick. I don’t fault people for doing what makes them happy. I wonder though with so many people seemingly focusing on the next big thing how many are enjoying the moments they are in. If you feel that overthinking a situation or spending more time focusing on upcoming things besides the present moment is causing your stress, practicing mindfulness can be beneficial to making a positive thought change.

Being mindful of the present can direct our thoughts and focus away from stressors. This isn’t to be confused with making future plans/goals. These types of future thinking and planning shouldn’t be stressful, but should help facilitate growth and positive change. You don’t want to eliminate them. Dwelling on what is to come or what needs to be done however can cause stress. Take time to listen to yourself and understand your own thoughts.

It can be difficult sometimes with all of life’s distractions to keep one’s attention in the present moment. Mindfulness isn’t easily maintained and can require lots of practice to get one’s focus back on the present. Some individuals find that by focusing on the senses of sound, feelings in the moment or other real time sensations they are able to better focus on the present. There are many teachings/therapy models that involve mindfulness practices.

I have found that by allowing myself some quiet time alone with my thoughts or to meditate helps me better focus on the present. Studies have shown that people who are able to practice mindfulness are better at managing their depression and anxiety. It is worth the effort to strive to be more mindful and aware of the present. Positive thinking is a gift and it can transform your life. Remember one day at a time. You’re doing great!

Empowerment Blogging

Creating Your Niche

Create your niche
Create your niche without loosing who you are.

Have you ever felt the pressure to define yourself in a certain way on social media, your online presence or in life? What if I told you that maybe trying to fit in isn’t what is going to make you stand out from the others. Wouldn’t you like to gain followers that will actually matter and stick with you for the long haul or attract people based on who you are as a person and not a trend or fad? The things that make you unique are what will attract this tribe and followers. You can create your own niche despite what others may tell you.

I’ve been told my whole brand ambassador career what I needed to do to get gigs. Things like be a certain size, look a certain way, cover up the Southern roots or wear heels to distract from being short, people have said. I’m polite and I’ve always been respectful of people speaking to me. I convince myself when people give advice they mean well.

Don’t believe the highlight reel

My rule though is if a person advising me isn’t where I’d like to be I’m certainly not going to look to them as a mentor or follow their path. Don’t believe everything you read and see on social media; it is only a highlight reel (for some people). Everyone is different and some don’t want to share their negatives even if flaws are what makes us unique and human.

My goal isn’t to have a highlight reel. To me life is about community over competition. I want to see other people succeed and I’ll clap for you. When someone looks at a photo of me @thevirginiahypegirl I don’t want them to be trying to figure out what preset I’m using or program, what fancy camera I have or how much I paid for the look. I want someone to see a woman just like them, that has worked hard to get where she is and proof that they can over come too. I share my life to inspire and encourage others.

I am beautifully broken not photoshopped perfect. I’m not afraid to talk about being a victor of domestic violence or overcoming assault or to show you my vulnerability. I’ve posted on depression, hitting rock bottom, dealing with loss and having major health set backs. All in hopes that maybe by sharing my highs along with my lows someone will take comfort that life isn’t perfect and neither am I.

If you don’t have this kind of confidence in yourself or know yet what you bring to the table it’s ok. Please don’t ever loose who you are in trying to find yourself, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone else and their journey. Don’t let other people trick you into chasing dreams that aren’t even yours. If something you are creating or doing feels forced then maybe you should rethink it.

Be cautious of who you trust

In your quest to build your tribe (followers) be caution too of women who proclaim to support other women. These women do exist, but often jealousy and the green eyed monster rears its ugly head, especially in groups of women. I’ve seen more women use this line and still tear other women apart at the same time. Be cautious of who you trust. A woman that picks at another women will likely do the same about you behind your back.

It is ok to be different. Remember that sometimes two people can have the same recipe, but have completely different tasting dishes. You don’t have to fight anyone for your piece of the pie…it is already yours. If I have to be fake or someone I am not I don’t want that kind of success and you shouldn’t either. If it isn’t exciting to you it can come across as forced and it won’t be interesting to your audience either.

I am proud of being me and I want to encourage others to stand out instead of fitting in. Maybe someone is out there silently reading this and I can only hope because of something they read by me they too decide to not give up. Fight for yourself and for what you believe in. Figure out what you want to share with others and don’t hold back. In doing this you will attract people that will share your passion and build a real community.

Empowerment Blogging

Life Won’t Sparkle Unless You Do

ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖𝕤 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕝𝕖𝕤?! I remember going to an event once and hearing a couple of the BAs I was managing laughing at something. Turns out they were making fun of my sparkly shoes, sparkly water bottle and bright printed backpack. “She looks like a rainbow…who does she think she is”, was said, like rainbows are a bad thing. In turn I’d done nothing to them except introduce myself and give event instructions.

We’ve all experienced it and I think it takes a lot of courage in today’s world to embrace being different. Most people want to fit into a certain category or a label that’s popular and few want to be someone that stands out. It is unfortunate that as a society things out of the norm are labeled as bad or, “abnormal”. Our society puts a negative label on things people aren’t use to or can’t understand. These labels dont really mean those things are actually wrong. I like to sparkle! Im different and I want to put the sparkle in life.

If society would move more towards acceptance and embracing the unique and different, imagine what a wonderful place the world could be. If society was open maybe people would stop hiding who they truly are. Being different unfortunately though can cause a person to be ridiculed or made fun of. This is unfortunate and it’s hard to learn, but self esteem and self worth should not be linked to acceptance by society.

Being different might cost friendships. However, you will find your tribe and be better off with people that can accept and support the real you. We must each do our part to promote inclusion of differences and to share who we really are. If you see something happening that you don’t agree with stand up. It is likely others want to make a stand too, but may need a leader to follow. Be a leader and don’t be afraid to stand out.

Empowerment Blogging

Page 1 of 365-Curbing Imposter Syndrome

do it for yourself
Don’t be silent about your feelings, remember you and your thoughts are valid and important!

Welcome to the new year! A fresh page, number 1 of the 365 that will make up 2022. Many people have been posting their new year’s resolutions and some will have broken them within a day of posting them. I personally stopped making resolutions years ago and instead focus on the goals I wanted to achieve in the coming year and reassessing my long term goals.

Since I can remember imposer syndrome has given me a fear of failure and made me think I needed to be superwoman to be defined as successful. If you do not know what imposter syndrome is, basically it’s an internal battle of not believing one is as competent as other people perceive.

What is imposter syndrome?

My own thoughts will make me believe I am not worthy of the compliments or praise I get from interactions with others or my job. Imposter Syndrome has made me disregard or dissect most praise I received in life. It gives me guilt about being seen as successful. To combat these feeling I had to write a new script for my mind’s responses and separate my internal feelings from fact. It took me a long time of learning to practice self-love and self-acceptance to not have these feelings daily.

Finding a Way to Cope with Imposter Syndrome

Some people see hanging up diplomas or having a trophy case for example as pretentious, but seeing my accomplishments daily verifies my success in what I choose to accomplish. Visual reminders of my personal success help me to chase away the feelings of not being good enough/imposter syndrome. Everyone has to find out what works for them personally to help them feel comfortable in their own skin.

Please do not allow yourself or other people to make you feel like you don’t matter. Do not be silent about your feelings, remember you and your thoughts are valid and important. Imposter Syndrome like anything can be overcome. Do not ever feel like you’re alone in your journey! There are many free resources that are only an internet search away my friends.

In this new year invest in yourself and do things that make you feel good about yourself. Take away: We all are dealing with something in our lives no matter how perfect things look from the outside. Imposter Syndrome is real, but it doesn’t mean I couldn’t find ways to work through it. I’m not too proud to pretend my life is perfect. Thoughts are not facts and this year I will strive to give myself more grace and kindness .